This week, we’re featuring an incredible poem by one of our own CAB members, Geode:
Geode Erdakos (he/him) is a Theatre Acting major working toward a future on Broadway. He loves singing and playing guitar, and brings that same passion for performance into every role he takes on. Writing has always been a calming, expressive outlet for him, a way to organize his thoughts and say what’s hard to speak out loud. His style is inspired by Hayley Williams of Paramore and Eminem, blending emotional honesty with sharp, rhythmic storytelling. With big dreams and a growing creative portfolio, Geode is steadily building the path toward the stage.
Carried me home from the hospital, pink hat with the matching swaddle
Watched me waddle in all the tights and the skirts that you had me model
Bottled up every other Sunday, from all of the stressin’
Cause you had me twinnin’ with my sister in all of them colored dresses
Couldn’t have guessed it was depression, I was only seven
Asked God to send me to heaven and bring me back as an Adam
But puberty had these phantom atoms making me more of a madame
Oh Hercules, Hercules
I can go the distance
End the silent suffering
And I won’t stop for an instant
To become who I’m supposed to be
Wouldn’t let myself breathe
Hid it behind my teeth, but no more
I just want to be free
Feels like my body’s on fire, need to change my whole attire
World’s got me so wired aspirin’ to be the woman it required
Got so tired of dressin’ girly to please everybody else
Switched it up, still under pressure, had to put it on the shelf
Looked at myself in the mirror, feeling euphoric in my new clothes
But even with all these masculine linens, still felt like I didn’t fit in
Felt like I’ve just been playin’ dress up
Cause this ain’t the skin I want to live in
Oh Hercules, Hercules
I can go the distance
End the silent suffering
And I won’t stop for an instant
To become who I’m supposed to be
Wouldn’t let myself breathe
Hid it behind my teeth, but no more
I just want to be free
I knew the truth was more than just the wardrobe
Pushed it deep in the corner of my mind, ready to blow
Now I know, match the out with the inner me
Start HRT, surgery to make a happier he
To be the man I’ve always been, and if you hear me, hope this’ll help
No more self hate, I’m in a better state to create
Gonna live the way I want, cause it’s never too late
And I can’t wait for the day,
When I can finally say
Oh Hercules, Hercules
Man I went the distance
Ended the silent suffering
Didn’t stop for an instant
To become who I’m supposed to be
Now I can let myself breathe
Don’t have to hide it no more
Cause I chose to be me